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What are those..THINGS????



Sightings of strange creatures with wrinkly skin and bent limbs have been occuring for years. Experts say that these creatures have a tendency to travel in herds and can often be sighted at Bingo parlors and swap meets. Although reports vary, common attributes are: strange smell, slow movement, strange hair growths, detachable teeth, and very poor driving skills. These creatures, known to experts as "Senior Citizens" or the more casual term "Old People", seem strange and unusual in many ways. However, they share many similarities with us and should be examined carefully. If you actually see one of these creatures, BE CALM!!! They are easily frightened and can attack using hard sticks, which they call "canes", while shouting strange war cries, such as "whippersnapper", "wheniwasyourage", or "iswearkidstoday!". Scientists are still trying to decipher their seemingly unintelligible code.



Pope and a stick.
      
Feeding time in the colony.
      
Fearsome and strange these things are.
The pope: Catholic Leader or just plain Old guy? Either way, all around wacky dude
      
Here we see a swarm of Old People feeding. Careful, they have been known to attempt to gum humans to death!!!
      
Here is a rare closeup of a Senior Citizen. Notice the glazed look in his eyes and the slight drool. Again, I warn, APPROACH WITH CAUTION!

A morbid celebration.
      
Caught on film!
      
The leader!
Here, we see one of their rituals which celebrates a creature becoming older and, incidentally, more incoherent and feral. Scientists are unable to explain this.
      
A bewildered looking Old Person caught on film. He is most probably stunned by the flashing light, which is known to frighten the poor things.
      
This Oldie is presumed to be the leader to the various swarms of Old People. Acting as kind of a "Queen Bee", he directs the actions and productivity of the swarms.

These have been a few examples of Old People in their natural habitats. They are truly some of the strangest creatures known to humankind, thus their dubious honor of being placed in Oomphoophoo's House of Strangeosity. Amazing to watch, from a distance. They can be feral and viscious, having no real cognizance of the world around them. However, with the proper amount of training, care, and patient cleaning, they can make adorable and loyal pets (where they are legal). Be cautious of the leader though. He is dangerous, incoherent, and aggressive. If it is spotted, it should be captured and euthanized immediately!! It has often been known to attack normal humans on sight and should not be allowed to roam free among us!




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