A Curse for Life
The Hideous Birthmark of Doom!

This abnormality of the skin was sighted somewhere in Kentucky (where it has been reported that children have been born blue due to inbreeding). Expert doctors have examined the patient, who, incidentally, can only speak the rudiments of English and is addicted to a local drink called "Moonshine" also known as "Red", and have concluded that the condition is incurable. For the moment, the strange tumor is benign. However, the patient has confessed that the mark "Talks to me" and "tells me things". Doctors, however, attribute this to her frequent alchoholic frenzies and do not support this claim.

Isn't it sad, folks.

To help this poor child, send lots and lots of money to:
Help the Weirdo Fund
(address soon to be added)

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